Every now and then I meet up with my friends from adolescence, women’s lives that cross mine between spritzes, memories, explosions of laughter and stories… many stories. We grew up together and each one over time has built her own path between falls and rises, as everyone thinks. When we are among ourselves, I don’t know why or how, but the stories in the end always focus on the relationship with the mysterious male universe. There are those who complain about the boyfriend, those who complain about the husband, those who complain about the lover, those who both the husband and the lover! I listen to them slyly and I must say that I also actively participate in the conversation but lately I am very struck by the apparent knowledge they show in describing the psychic characteristics of the “lucky” ones with whom they relate. <<He is a pathological narcissist, I assure you! He has all the symptoms>>, << mine is depressed, I checked>> and then there is bipolar, borderline and so on…
In short, it seems to listen to the pop-home version of a third-rate pseudo-psychiatry manual. I try to dig up the sources of so much knowledge and I discover to my amazement that it is a myriad of videos on the net (whatsapp, facebook, tik tok…) of alleged psychologists, psychotherapists, mental coaches and the like who promise to teach you all the most hidden strategies to understand your “sick” companion and learn to defend yourself … No oh well…
But do we really think that it is possible to use a simplistic classification of more or less common behaviors to define the human and psychic reality of a person? But do we really think that by listening to four notions online we will be able to wonderfully manage any relationship and understand the other without perhaps having understood anything about ourselves yet? And then why that wonderful branch of medicine that is psychiatry must be reduced to these conditions… sold off for two pennies in the market of cognitive superficiality, a harlot of solutions in pills.
I believe that in every relationship, whether it is a love, a fleeting passion or a summer affair, after all we always play a piece of ourselves and that is perhaps why it inevitably fascinates and scares us. Is it difficult to understand each other with males? Yes, but trying is too much fun and I don’t like the idea of a catalog of postal market-type prototypes in which to include all the men I loved or those I will love. I like Gioia Piazzi’s article Women are crazy that I read as a beautiful claim to love, I like the idea that there is a music in men and women that sometimes resonates with the same notes, sometimes not… but it doesn’t matter because, always and in any case, you can change the musicians.
Sara Lazzaro
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