I TOOK FROM…

There’s a curious saying, about relationships and heredity.

“I took from my father”

“he took from our mother”

“he took from me”

It’s good for biology, “We have dark eyes and so does our son. He took from us”

But for the mind, which is immaterial, what is it that is taken? But then…does he take it?

In sayings or idioms there is always a grain of truth, but it is a question of perspectives.

“my mother is anxious, I got it from her” but anxiety is not material like eyes. You don’t see it as the green around the pupils.

That people, sometimes, can do with their minds what they do with their hands?

And what you take…can you even leave?

Why should I take the anxiety…the agitation, the anger?

Almost all of us took our father’s last name, and he took his father’s…but why did anyone take his depression too?

Imagine a newborn baby, looking for breasts and a relationship that meets both physical and emotional needs.

The milk is coming, the belly is full…and the rest?

the physicist had what he was looking for but satiety is a necessary but not sufficient condition.

It’s what I can’t touch, eat… that meets the needs. E’ the beautiful contents that, like milk, are “in”… but there is no mouth that can take them out. E’ a gift from another, which one wants to receive, is the product of a relationship. It’s not his arm. It’s not his smile.

But you can give away what you have…if you have.

And if that “internal milk” is lacking, one loses one’s eyes to “see beyond” the physical and disappointment makes the mind mouth. He does not take the content but what he thinks is the essence of the report.

And you don’t increase something of your own in the relationship with the other, but you take from the other what seems to be the reality of that relationship. Convinced that he could do no differently. Not even in the other reports. And so “I put in”, taking, what I find. And relationships fill but do not enrich.

But putting yourself inside aspects of the other means becoming a photocopy of them. Never going any further.

And what is a pathological dynamic passes for physiological heredity and the following thought is “it went badly for me, it’s their fault, I can’t change if they don’t change”

“yes, my mother is very anxious too”

You took her eyes, but do you look at the world like her?

Gianluca Ambrosini