Dear Papillon,
After reading the article ‘Brothers become’ I wanted to tell you my story.
I am the youngest of three sisters, with the oldest is not only the 6 years difference that divide us but much more. Years of misunderstandings and different characters, I have no memory of indelible memories as with the other sister with whom we share is little more than a year!
Our little room united us in the first moments of life, the endless days playing under home, the boundless laughter and beach holidays with grandparents, school, the first night out with friends and the first loves that made our hearts beat, and now we have become women.
In all these moments, however, the great one always lacked that sense of complicity, which I found spontaneously with the other. The silences that I did not give weight to with one, over time they became walls, while with the other the harmony grew and was modeled on us with our different characters.
There comes a time when mom leaves.
Chaos. Fear. Sadness. Anguish.
Each of the three lives pain in its own way, it is something great that breaks before our eyes full of tears.
And it is here that the differences become almost unbridgeable and I can no longer pretend to nothing and let go as in the past, there is no longer our reference point that kept us tied.
If with one the relationship became even deeper and more intense, mature but always lively, with the other it has almost disappeared. Only phone calls or casual dinners, his continuous refusal, his absence… hurt.
In the past I was perhaps too much taken by myself and did not understand that you need that something more to create a valid relationship that is not only blood, reciprocity and desire of both of us to build something.
The relationship with them I have perhaps taken for granted, but then you realize that you want a deep and different good that before you did not know, it becomes almost unbearable this emptiness. But what to do? What is missing?
Then, as I write these lines, an unexpected message arrives: “I want to be with you, are we going to the beach?”
The heart throbbing, that the sea may be the beginning of a new page to write?!
LS
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