{"id":6838,"date":"2025-06-06T05:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-06T03:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.papillon.center\/?p=6838"},"modified":"2025-06-04T11:00:18","modified_gmt":"2025-06-04T09:00:18","slug":"away-from-the-eyes-away-from-the-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.papillon.center\/en\/blog\/away-from-the-eyes-away-from-the-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"AWAY FROM THE EYES, AWAY FROM THE HEART"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

“There is something in the air that winter is not, I don\u2019t know why…”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s certainly a phrase that we all said or heard, even if few of the readers of Papillon will know that it is also the title of a beautiful (and very old!) song.
Certainly not a “HIT” summer eh, but it could sound current, although I don\u2019t think at all that Sergio Endrigo<\/em> wanted to dedicate it to his beloved\u2026 school!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing, dedicating a song to someone can be one of the many ways to try not to “forget”? Who knows..
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are in June anyway, and as every year the school is about to end, and it\u2019s a “new year” very different from the winter one, not only for the atmospheres or the temperatures.
For some children it also represents the end of a well-defined period of studies (which the best call cycle) that corresponds to a period of life that may not return, unless, as happened in my time, thinking I had gotten out of it with 2 or 3 subjects ended that you failed in September.
In short, for some after the summer, which seen from here is certainly very luuuongest, something new will appear, and whether elementary school or high school, of course the new school year will bring with it many meetings, and separation from peers, friends and teachers will become more.. real!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deep personal and relational changes for which it is important to understand each other well: if someone should happen to feel a little lonely, sad or maybe a bit nostalgic could be in small part due to this..
Remedies? Well, this is a bit more difficult, but we can try anyway, at least not to feel too alone I say, because even for adults it could (and maybe should!) be a time and a somewhat complex affair..
Like to say that teachers also separate, and not only they.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, the summer break begins shortly, which separates one from another the years of psychotherapy of those who, more or less young, are struggling with what is in effect a short, long, however never small separation from the therapist, to be seen again in September.
That I have just written it, maybe influenced by the title, but already seeing me is a bit ‘tight, because I think that in the bottom is more than anything a reunion, or if things are not going well, a re-being in which however there always comes.. the sight!
How to prevent that someone who is slowly moving away until he becomes very small on the horizon, then does not disappear forever?
How do we keep alive in us something that might resemble one of those rays that the sun gives us a moment before disappearing into the sea?
Winning the night the shadows and maybe a certain fear of the dark, knowing that to keep the other one to itself forever is neither possible nor desirable, especially because what happens outside us when the other goes away is as real as..  We know more!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In short, knowing about each other when you say hello is knowing that we will find him outside for not having lost him inside, it seems to me that\u2019s how it works.
So far so good, even psychology has been breaking its head for a very long time on this thing, and I remember all the studies on newborns and the so-called “object constancy” that is the ability of children after a certain number of months to “know” that an object like a ball, A plush or toy (mom?) is still there even if someone hides it from him, perhaps for fun.
When you are older then away with the BU-BU set and later on with the hide, in which a curious thing happens: one turns “blind” while all the others hide, more or less like the ostrich, but it is said that he puts his head under the sand when he is afraid.
How to say, if I don\u2019t see you it means that.. you are not there!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Playing with one\u2019s own fears by trying to exorcise them does not seem to be a human characteristic therefore, even if for the ostrich I guess it must be something to do with survival instinct or things like that, Whereas it seems to me that human beings are born rather with instinct.. of death!
But then, and this is also curious, it is precisely thanks to this specific thing of ours with a somewhat macabre name that also derives all the ability to create something new, to give birth to something inside us because we have “lost” something that was outside before, Because human beings also possess fantasy!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You see that being complicated must be a special feature of us, sort of species-specific, one of the things that makes humans so interesting and beautiful.
But so much beauty seems to have a price, especially if over the years things in relationships with others do not go exactly as they could\/should go, because as unfortunately we continue to read and hear, those who are particularly ill seem not to be able to cope with what everyone continues to call separation, sometimes without being able to go beyond the idea of possession, which is nevertheless a shared and unhealthy idea.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet a first distinction would already be possible from the epilogue of certain stories:
Some say “I can\u2019t live without you” others “you don\u2019t have to live without me” (with often diametrically opposite consequences) as if in the first case of the crisis for the lack of affections necessary to support the pain and perhaps the disappointment at the end of a relationship the person made a fault, while in the second the “faults” would be all of the other, so that in most cases they do not seem to feel any kind of remorse or repentance, except to try to lighten the procedural situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, if one has lost his humanity to reduce a girl to be “doll” dehumanizing her too, what should he regret or apologize..
We are at the complete pulverization, even disappearance of affections.
Coming back to our next summer though, it\u2019s easy to say that one must be fine because there is the sun or school is over, or rather that one should be happy on the birthday, not to mention being good at Christmas or something like that, often seems to work just the opposite, as when it happens that in addition to feeling sad you also feel guilty for.. His own sadness!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And instead, if we talk about sadness, it means that deep down we know that it concerns someone who maybe we feel far away but not lost, that perhaps looks more like something nebulous but not faded, just like a kind of nostalgia, because sometimes we fall in love with a smile before we even embrace each other.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead, knowing inside is a bit like dealing with the sea.
Something familiar, even if we haven\u2019t seen it for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marco Randisi<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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